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Kia ora Philippa. I love the way you’ve suggested for people to keep an eye out for part 2. It reminds me of a movie trailer. I’m impressed with the range of your punctuation and I was surprised that I got to make choices in the story. Maybe you could mention that in your introduction so people know they can be involved in the story.
Hello Phil! thanks for the feed back! yes I should include it in the beginning so people a aware that there is a option picker!
Blog ya later!
Hello Philippa,
I love your story it was kind of scary. I can’t wait until part two.
Thank you!
Hey Philippa, nice horror story I like how you said it could be a game. I can’t wait for part 2.
Hi Philly! I like how crusty and musty the doll is! (Lol)
I really enjoyed the pick a path parts. Were you inspired by Jumanji? I would love to see part two, and maybe for part two, the doll can become a human-like creature with long legs and no face? And maybe, she can jump on the flying bricks to get to another level. Also does she have her diary with her? If you need more ideas ask me! Also maybe she can be in an abandoned town, and the first level was just the abandoned mayor mansion, and she has to go to the park and things? Maybe she finds out that it’s where she lives, but in the future? I literally have no idea.
Blog you later, Aoibheann.
Hello Phillipa my name is CJ from Room 17,
I liked how you started with dear diary and how you said that the walls were going to collapse instead of saying that the walls were going to fall or break.
Blog ya later CJ.
Hello Philly.
I was just wondering how is she able to hold onto the diary the whole time?
Also I’m just wondering is the part two coming soon I need more of this story!!
This kind of remind me of ‘dairy of a wimpy kid’ as it was a dairy I don’t really know why 0-0, and it also reminds me of what a episode of Wellington paranormal would be like I also don’t know why I think that. Anyways very good story, uh just agreeing with Aoibheann can the doll come alive and be all creepy, I think that would be a very cool add on. Maybe for a part two you could add another type of thing along with the doll? She could also find her home but then it turns out just to be a copy of her house like in Caroline when instead of her real parents she has the doll parents? All in all very good story!
Blog you later,
Maddy (R24).